One way or another, every person at least once in his life faces conflict situations at work. Especially often the “risk” of the tense situation is present in those teams where there are great career opportunities and competition.
Many people suffer from constant work conflicts, feel depressed, dissatisfied. In addition, working confrontation adversely affects non-working life and is manifested in irritation towards family members, excessive aggression.
Permanent working disagreements can cause a job loss or a shift at will. And simply, spending almost a whole day in a tense atmosphere does not at all resemble anything pleasant, much less a “favorite” job.
But, nevertheless, conflicts are part of our lives and it is imperative to know how to act towards them.
How to avoid conflicts?
Before developing a behavior strategy during a fight, it is best to think about whether it is possible to avoid it at all. Often a serious conflict, growing into enmity, arises because of banal stupidity and if at least one of the parties is wiser, the situation would be exhausted on the spot. Since conflict is a matter involving at least 2 people, then everyone’s share of responsibility for the development of a dispute and its future fate is equally divided among all.
People very often resemble adult lamb (sorry for such a metaphor) who are ready to prove their case to each other all day long. But! You must understand that you cannot be angry with a person just because he thinks differently from you. He is not obliged to do so. You have the right to your own opinion and prove it, so why should your interlocutor concede and agree with you? Just take someone else’s position and in no case do not hold evil. Answer: “I do not agree with you, but I respect your opinion.”
We are moving from theory to practice.
And so, the most “popular” situations and their solutions.
- Do not be fooled by provocation. The heightened tone of the opponent, the transition to the individual (which is extremely unacceptable in the workplace, and indeed in general), causing facial expressions, gestures – all this can put you off balance, and you will catch fire faster than a match. Whatever it is, keep cool and don’t let emotions take up above the mind. Otherwise, it will stop too late.
- Take a time out. If you are seriously hurt someone’s statement, count up to 10 in your mind and only then answer. Thus, you will calm down and you will not talk too much under the influence of emotions.
- Keep an even, calm tone. This strategy not only keeps you within the limits of the acceptable, but also has a positive effect on your opponent, forcing him to also switch to a more relaxed conversation format.
- Let the other person feel the right to choose. Say: “Of course you can do it your way, but it seems to me that it would be better …” Thus, you remove the pressure factor, and your colleague will feel more confident, which means – calm.
- Do not blame anyone. In no case do not say something like “You are a loser,” “You do not succeed,” “This is a crazy idea,” etc. Refer only to yourself, namely to the feelings and opinion: “It seems to me that this project will not be able to interest a potential investor because (the argument is obligatory!)”, “I do not believe in success”, “I am sorry to say this, but …” . Direct criticism of an opponent or his offspring is equal to a blow to the head, only imaginary.
- Agree with someone else’s opinion if the subject matter of your dispute is not substantial and the agreement with the partner’s opinion does not harm your practical actions, in other words, do not argue with a person who does not agree with your development strategy if such a project has already been approved and is under development. Late stick in the wheels of the train.
If the conflict could not be avoided, then everything must be done to extinguish it as soon as possible.
Firstly, it is not good for your career, even if the truth is yours. Secondly, why arrange a free show for other employees? And, thirdly, why spoil your nerves?
How to act if your colleague or employee is furious?
- Use a calm tone, as described above. Do not go to the cry.
- Ask questions: what exactly do you dislike? why do you think so? … Demand argument, as a rule, such a turn of events slightly reduces the degree of tension.
- Tell me that you are ready to continue the constructive dialogue, but you are not going to talk in such a tone.
- Try to end it all with the words: “I don’t see any more sense to continue the discussion, everyone will have his own opinion”, “Let’s end this argument, I don’t see any sense in it.”
- Do not forget about politeness, even when you want to throw something out of rage. Apologize to your opponent, tell him thanks for his opinion, but note that they do not intend to change their plans.
When do you need to conflict?
There are situations when you need to dot the “i”, because delaying the solution of an important issue in which several interests intersect can no longer be postponed. For example, you presented your presentation, but your colleague thinks that the idea belongs to him and speaks back on you.
Protracted hidden hostility does not contribute to a sound atmosphere in the team itself, or to yourself.
In this case, the word “conflict” is not appropriate, rather a constructive dialogue. Talk to the one-on-one person, say that it’s unpleasant for you to hear these gossip. The sooner the problem is solved, the less painful it will be.
If the conversation does not work and the colleague is determined, simply ignore it. It is important that other employees know your position and opinion from your own mouth in order to eliminate the “yellow press”. Do not create a “coalition”, communicate with those who are pleasant to you and do not take part in dirty games.
And remember the wisdom of life: do not argue with idiots; at first they will lower you to their level, and then they will crush you with experience.