In the people, a diligent person is identified with a perfectionist. It is believed that such people who know what they want, achieve great success in life.
From the point of view of the use of this word in different contexts, it is rather positive and refers to the positive qualities of the person. But is it really?
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the pursuit of the ideal, in any area of life.
In the context of work and business, perfectionist personality traits are manifested in the desire to constantly do the job “better than anyone”, to please the authorities, to demand maximum results, both from oneself and from others. In the case when the desired ideal is not achieved, as a rule, the person feels a sense of dissatisfaction, becomes irritable and self-critical.
Also, perfectionists very often remain unhappy with their subordinates, the quality of the results of their robots.
How does perfectionism manifest?
As mentioned above, a perfectionist person seeks only the best and perceives unwanted work results as a defeat or a fiasco.
- Do not give yourself the right to make mistakes;
- Make plans that are rather above the average tasks of your colleagues;
- Take painfully criticism;
- Trying to please your boss at all;
- You often criticize yourself;
- Do not even allow your plans to fail;
- Consider your work achievements as your top priority;
- Ready to work seven days a week to earn the “praise” of the authorities;
- Do not remember when the last time rested
– this means that you are the purebred, the most noble of the noblest perfectionists. Have you had a smile? But it is still too early for your perfectionist nature to begin to entertain pride, because this is not just another achievement or a reason for pride, but rather a punishment!
Why? But read on.
The fact that a lot of something is not good – have you heard such a proverb? But it is she who shows the line between the normal desire for better and obsessive idea.
It is human nature to strive for the best. This is an absolutely normal desire. Moreover, whatever you do, everything is aimed at satisfying your needs.
“But what about family, relatives? – You ask, because for them you can donate a lot. ” But even if you think that you are doing something not for yourself, but for the sake of someone, it is not so. For example, you have devoted your whole life to children. But you did this in order to satisfy your need, because your conviction was articulated: you must take care of the children and if you did not, you would suffer because you did not fulfill what you considered necessary.
What are we? And the fact that the basis of all behavioral strategies is conviction. In the case of perfectionism, a person has “recorded” in his head: I must do everything correctly, I must not be mistaken. Error = failure.
It is in this way that the head of an employee with unhealthy perfectionist behavior is “programmed”. If circumstances are such that it is impossible to achieve the desired, then the person begins to suffer, blame himself, look for flaws in himself.
Healthy perfectionism is better called desire for the best. The “scheme” in the head of a healthy workaholic is approximately as follows: “It would be good if I achieved a certain result. But, if I fail, I will draw conclusions and try again. ”
The above example is called rational thinking. To understand whether you are a perfectionist — healthy or unhealthy — ask yourself the question: What do I think about if I don’t get what I’m doing? The answer will be the degree of your perplexity in obtaining good achievements.
Causes of unhealthy makeovers
As a rule, the need to prove to the world its own importance arises in childhood, when parents laid the wrong understanding of themselves in a child. In such families it was necessary to deserve everything. For example, if mom and dad were often scolded for bad grades and were not interested in the reasons for such performance, but required only a result, then the child had a conviction that I should get good grades so that they would love me.
In adulthood, the scheme remains the same, only the “conditions” for love are changing: I must be in the top three of the best employees of the month to be respected; I have to do everything in time to be noticed; I should not let the authorities down so that they treat me well; I must have a high-paying job so that my wife appreciates me, etc.
Another reason is also hidden in childhood – when a person was constantly set as an example of a brother or sister, and only scolded himself and pointed out mistakes. This child, when he grows up, will prove to the whole world that he is better, but the trouble is that he will never stop. Any achievements will not bring full satisfaction. He will set goals higher and higher.
Pitfalls of perfectionism in the work area
If you work in a company and you have a boss, then for your boss, an employee like you is just a real find – a diamond. True, you are an uncut diamond, because you do not know how to appreciate yourself, and this means that the boss does not see all the value and treat you as an ordinary pebble, and not an ornament from his “collection” of subordinates. And you are trying with all your strength to prove to him: “Well, here I am, appreciate me!”
Simply put, your efforts will never be seen and marked in the way you desire. Most likely, you are enjoyed by all who feel like it, and you regard each request as an opportunity to assert oneself and be amused by the thought that you are in demand.
Most often, you are irreplaceable only in your workplace, but at the corporate party hardly anyone will notice your absence. “Why are you there? You are only useful in business matters. You are a universal, trouble-free worker, ”your boss will think like this.
The more effort is spent in ordering you to do something, the more your work will be appreciated. And, on the contrary, if it is enough for you to say, even without the word “please:“ Go and do it ”- and in response you nod your head and run to perform, in this way you will not deserve what you deserve, for one simple reason – to ask you no big deal.
From the time of increased stress on you will be perceived by the chief, as something ordinary. And if you decide to refuse, you will surely hear indignation: “How can you not do it ?!” And you will not be helped by “long service”, because hardly anyone will remember it.
Positive features of perfectionism
Of course, we cannot fail to say about the positive aspects, especially since there are too many of these features.
For example, a person who is obsessed with proving can reach incredible heights. He can smile luck in his career, he is able to get rich, travel a lot. Surely, many of his classmates and friends graze the rear, while this man is on his way to a new peak.
The only problem is that he himself does not feel happy. He does not live for today, does not enjoy life. His whole journey is a race for ghostly recognition from others of his own worth.
In other words, imagine two rich mansions. One owner has achieved everything through honest work and enjoys the fruits of his work, the second mansion belongs to a thief. And although this robber lives richly, he does not feel satisfaction because of the reproaches of conscience.
Of course, it is somewhat silly to compare a perfectionist and a robber, because the first is an honest workaholic, but this is not the essence now. An unhealthy perfectionist will feel the same inner dissatisfaction with his success, like a thief, because his whole life is a race for new heights, where there is a place for temporary joy from success, but at the same time there is no place for happiness.
So try, but do not forget that you value exactly as much as you value yourself.